This question came to my mind this morning and I have been thinking through it all day. I think that there are at least four things that would endear a woman to her husband.\r\n\r\n1. Her sweetness - by this I mean a sweet, soothing disposition towards her husband. I wonder if there is any man who would not be drawn towards such a spirit in his wife.\r\n\r\n2. Her support - it is like a backbone for a man when he knows he has his wife’s full support in fulfilling his God-given responsibilities. She could actually play a role in helping him define and refine these responsibilities.\r\n\r\n3. Her submission - this is a woman’s meek, respectful attitude towards her husband as her head. Just like a woman needs to feel her husbands love even so a man needs to feel this attitude of submission from his wife. This does not mean stupidity on the part of the woman but simple obedience to the word of God and clearly within divinely given limits.\r\n\r\n4. Her service - by this I am referring to a woman’s effort in ensuring that the home is neat and tidy. Even a man who is not neat or tidy appreciates a clean and tidy home.\r\n\r\n I think these four things can serve as a starting point for the understanding of what endears a woman to her husband. God bless you.\r\n\r\nStewart
Marriage is a very interesting institution. It is also extremely challenging. I have discovered that it is very easy to do everything in marriage but what your spouse really wants.
Your husband certainly appreciates
the good meals
the clean house
the clean clothes
but I can say without fear of contradiction that what he really wants is for you to give him your heart, just as God desires of us His people. Remain blessed.
1 Peter 3:6 (KJV)
Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
Unknown to many wives is that deep within their husbands a deep craving. This craving is the craving for RESPECT. It is not an ungodly craving, God put it there. Smart women know how to communicate this respect in word and deed. Just like Sarah who called Abraham Lord and obeyed him.
Likewise also, deep within every wife is the desire to be loved by her husband. To be treated as very very special.
1 Peter 3:7 (KJV)
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
We are commanded to dwell with them according to knowledge, bearing in mind their delicate nature. We are to demonstrate this in word and deed!
A close look at what scriptures have to say about marriage shows that two words capture the key to success : love and submission.
Ephes. 5:22 (KJV)
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephes. 5:25 (ESV)
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
These two words summarize God’s recipe for a successful marriage relationship. When the wife truly submits to her husband and the husband truly loves his wife, the relationship is blissful. If otherwise it would hell on earth!
One thought that has become deeply embedded in my heart is that harmony can only be achieved when everything stays within it’s God-given position. Taking marriage as an example, harmony would only exist if a husband uses his authority to serve the wife and the wife learns to stay under her husband’s authority.
These words were spoken by the centurion in Mathew 8:8, expressing absolute faith in the Word of Jesus. Jesus commended the centurion saying “I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel”.
What about you, do you have absolute faith in the Word of Jesus? It is the difference between life and death! Shalom!
Please help me out of this difficult situation I have found myself in. There is this man in my life whom I love deeply, this is despite the fact that he is married with five children.
Agatha, there is no doubting the fact that I desire him for a husband. My family is aware of the relationship but I have not told them he is interested in marrying me and has actually proposed to me. Please, tell me what to do since I don’t want to lose him.
Stella.
Dear Stella,
Your love should not deprive another woman of her home and happiness. How would you feel if the man in question were your husband? After five children, this woman is looking to retirement with her husband, looking forward to seeing the children leave the nest for their own and to having her man to herself all over again.
To have had five children, shows she has invested so much in building this home, in giving her husband considerable happiness. No matter what problems prompted him into your hands, that he endured having five children with her shows that certain chemistry exists between them and that the bond can never be broken because those children would forever bring them together.
Given the investment and value she has brought into this home, you are the last thing she expects in her life and home. You represent for this woman a nightmare, pain and the death of a dream. You and your children would forever be symbols of betrayal and a hurt very difficult to ignore.
Yes, you think you are in love now, but wait until the macabre dance starts between you, this woman and the children. The love that looks so perfect now wouldn’t be that rosy because not only would you be up in arms with this woman but with her five children as well. And when you fight the children of a man, you unwittingly declare a war against him because no man in his right senses would ever stand by and watch anybody fight his children. Not even the biological mother of the children would a man allow to maltreat or fight his children.
Issues having to do with a man’s children have nothing to do with love for the woman closest to his heart. When it comes to his children, a man would rather stay with his children than the woman. The presence of his children represents his manliness, his male pride, his dream and hope for the future. Men inwardly rate their children as their most valuable assets in their lives. No matter how much he places premium on a woman, if his children are not happy, that woman’s days in his life and heart begins a countdown.
In addition there is also the bit about nemesis. Do you realise that any man who can betray his first wife, emotionally hurt his children, destroy the wall of protection marriage offers his family, cannot be trusted not to visit you with the same treatment?
How would you feel if your daughter comes back to you in future to tell you that another woman is taking over her home? Would you be happy and bless your son-in-law for doing that to her?
Granted, the man may be having difficult times with this woman but having married her and with five children in between them, marrying you isn’t a panacea, rather, it is a complication that would do neither of you any good. As a matter of fact, if this man actually loves you, he would not dream of infesting you with his mistakes. Besides, who is perfect? If he cannot withstand the imperfection of one woman, what makes you think him capable of accommodating yours? What happens if he discovers you to be imperfect, discards you for another woman he thinks has the qualities to make him happy?
Think? How would you feel? Used and betrayed?
Honestly, there is no way you can win this battle irrespective of the quality of relationship that exists between this man and his wife? in the first place, she has more information about his character that is not at your disposal, a history that predates yours, an intimacy you may never have the peace of mind to develop into maturity like she has done with him, a knowledge of the extended family which she can manipulate to make life more intolerable for you and whatever children you hope to have with him?
The rivalry between you and this woman would make it almost impossible for you to have the much needed opportunity of knowing him the way a woman should her husband in terms of his attitude and temperament to issues.
There is no way you can lose something which was never yours. This man is not and would never be yours because of the existence of his wife and children in his life. He isn’t free to love another woman despite his supposed interest in you.
Because marriage is sarced, your family, especially your mother, have no right to support your relationship with another woman’s husband. They should be in the vanguard of those discouraging you from it. So, it is not just a matter of telling them about his intention to make you his second wife, but that of them knowing the moral and religious implications of even knowing about his existence in your life.
Your mother being married should know that what God has joined together, no man is allowed to put asunder, and that whosoever comes between another woman and her happiness is most likely to suffer the same fate.
No matter the stories this man is telling about his home or justification for his relationship with you, your parents should be able to tell you that no marriage comes without problems or trying period in which the couple wish for separation. That they are in the know shows that they are also not considering your happiness but the things they can get from this man. If they were thinking of your happiness, they would stoutly kick against your dating a married man let alone be left to contemplate marrying him.
You are the one that would invariably suffer whatever decision you take today. None of your family members is going to live in your home with you; none of them would suffer the agonies and unhappiness with you. So, allow the presence and word of God direct you properly on what to do.
Yes, it may hurt you a little bit but you would be happier in the end if you do what you know is right. Trust God.
The Bible is clear that we would be judged for everything we do in the body including our role as mothers. What does God expect of you as a mother?
Titus 2:4-5
That they may teach the youg women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.
How would God judge you as a father. Again according to the standard of His Word
Ephes. 6:4 (KJV)
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
The nurture and admonition of the Lord. We spend some much on educating the minds of our children, how much do we spend in helping them know the Lord for themselves?
